July 9, 2009 After failing to find a site with links to all
50 states' statutes regarding sexual offenses, I decided to design my own...All 50 States' Statutes: Sexual Offenses. Please be patient as this will be very time consuming. I hope to have it completed within the next week.
Hopefully, this will help anyone who is researching the law for any sexual crime against a child in their individual
state.
I also added another poll on the Home page. I'm very curious to see the results of this one since it is about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an issue I have always had a very hard time with and it seems I have constantly been tested throughout my lifetime
regarding this ability. I have learned that forgiveness is about helping us heal and releases us from the
past and our hurts and pains. It has nothing to do with the person who betrayed us and hurt us so deeply. It certainly
doesn't cause us to "forget" the hurts...the pains or the crimes. Even still, I have a very hard time being
able to forgive others because I have always had such a hard time forgiving myself. It is something I will probably
have to work on for the rest of my life. Have you forgiven your molester or the person who molested your loved one?
Take the poll!!
May 23, 2009 I added the poem, "Rain" by
J.B. Wilson to Your Stories, Poetry and Artwork page. Thank you for sharing!!
May 20, 2009 Justice isn't always served in the
way we hope. But sometimes, if we wait long enough, justice can still be served in a manner other than our thinking.
The man who molested my younger two daughters has finally received justice. He will spend the rest of his life
confined to a nursing home where he will never be able to harm another child ever again. I hope he lingers and suffers
for a very long time only to eventually die alone. I updated The Men Who Shattered My Children's Souls with this latest news.
May 6, 2009 Wow..the
small rewards!! I designed this site for many reasons; to finally have a (loud) voice when the System had
stifled mine for so many years, to help me during the healing process, to share all of the wealth of information
I have learned while researching incest because of my own children's abuse and to ensure that something good came
about after our nightmare of dealing with incest. However, my main priority has always been to help other people experiencing
the same pain we endured while also educating the public about the horrors of childhood sexual abuse, which affects
millions of people's lives.
I
was recently notified that information from this website was quoted and used in a recent news article for the
Herald Bulletin in Anderson, Indiana!!!
I
am so proud knowing this website is fulfilling its purpose!! Maybe one person CAN make a difference. I surely
hope so!
April 18, 2009 Last night,
I read the most comprehensive article regarding incest. What is Incest? was written by Heidi Vanderbilt, an incest survivor, back in February 1992 for Lear's Magazine and I added it to this site. It
is rather lengthy, but I encourage each and every one of you to read it. To date, it is the best article I have
seen written about childhood incest. Because the article is 17 years old, the facts regarding the state laws and statute
of limitations are way out of date. However for the survivors of incest, the sad fact is, not much has improved over
the past 17 years. An alarming number of child victims still don't tell. Our poll is indicative of this tragic
statistic. The state laws and statute of limitations have greatly improved. However, the courts are
still inconsistent regarding the punishments for the incest perpetrator and the System makes life a living nightmare
for the child victims and their families. Is it any wonder that children still refuse to tell this horrible
secret?
Will it take another 17 years for so little more change
to occur? One can only pray it does not.
I also added
another page, Is There a Cure for Sexual Offenders? In all of my research, I've never found anyone admit there is a cure. To do so, would
say that child molesters have a disease or a medical condition, which they do not. They make a conscious choice when
they choose to torture and victimize innocent children. The experts do agree that treatment is the only option
and the statistics vary, to a great extent, on whether treatment is even successful. There isn't enough data or research
results on the rate of reoffending after treatment. Treating a child molester is a life-long process and most are
never caught or are only forced into treatment to avoid a prison sentence; leaving the program as soon as they are released
from probation.
April 15, 2009 A woman
filled out the survey and asked me for help regarding her son. He will be visiting her this May. Due to the fact
there is no place to post an email address on the survey (I had originally wanted it to be anonymous), I am unable to respond to her issues. If
you see this, PLEASE email me your address so I can respond to you. I have some information, which might help you regarding
your son!!
Because of this, I am now asking for an email address
at the end of the site's survey. This will ONLY be used if someone would like me to respond to their comments/issues/questions.
I feel so badly that I cannot help the woman who wrote, and I don't want that to happen to anyone ever again. The entire
point of me designing this site was to have a safe place for familes and/or victims to seek information and for
those of us who have been through the effects of sexual abuse, to open up and help others facing the same horrible circumstances.
April 7, 2009 I found a website, last night, about Kaylee Rain's family's ordeal with her sexual abuse. I urge you to go to the website and sign their petition for the Kaylee Rain law. This law will ensure that whenever there is an allegation of sexual abuse against a child, the courts MUST ensure
the child's safety and order supervised visitation at the very least. I also found an article that made me cry while
I read it. It's called, "What is Visitation?" and you should read it. It explains exactly how I felt regarding my own children's visitation and what visitation actually
"tells" a child about their abuse, their abuser and the adults who are "supposed" to keep them safe.
I was also finally able to go through all of my mail and added the
personal stories (and one short story) that were sent to me while I was gone. I apologize for having taken so long
to post them. Please read them on the Your Stories, Poetry and Artwork page. I know the personal stories will touch your heart as much as they touched mine.
April 4, 2009 I added numerous quotes to the Inspirational Quotes of Hope and Healing page. Be sure to check them out. So many of these quotes touched my heart so deeply and really helped me as I
healed. A great source of comfort is to type the quotes and tape them to your desk, refrigerator or anywhere around
the house where you will see them each and every day.
April
3, 2009 To better help adults identify sexual abuse, I have added the page, Warning Signs and Symptoms of Sexual Abuse to the site. I also updated the latest escapades of my ex-father-in-law and my ex-husband in My Family's Journey-A Mother's Story.
April 1, 2009 After the 4 year court battle
with my ex-husband, I took an extended break from this site in order to make some great new changes in my family's life. My
children and I were finally able to start our new lives. Life is really, REALLY good again!! (For years, I couldn't imagine
I would ever be able to utter those words again but there is hope! I am living proof that a great life is truly
possible after the trauma of your child/ren's sexual abuse or incest.) Now, I've finally come back to update
this site and it's good to be back. However, I won't be spending quite as much time here as I did when my family was
"stuck" living and reliving the nightmare we had to call our life at that time. We're too busy actually
ENJOYING life again!! Hopefully in the coming weeks, before leaving again for summer vacation, I will have
the site freshly updated with the most current information/statistics and the stories which were submitted
while I was gone. I will continually add anything that has been updated on the site to
this page.
January, 2009
My younger two daughter's molester (their paternal grandfather) violated the terms of his probation. His only consequence? He can no longer use his home computer and considering his
probation ends this spring, it seems he will only be inconvenienced for a bit of time. I can only imagine
what his continued pattern of behaviors will be once he is released from probation and is no longer accountable for ANY of
his actions. SCARY!!
Silly me!! It was my understanding
that if a criminal disobeyed the terms of their probation they were supposed to go to jail. And
society wonders why there are so many child molesters preying on our children? BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH
IT. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!
November 9, 2008 I
added a short survey on the Contact Shattered Souls page. Please take the time to fill this out (it's VERY short) so I can use your input to continually improve and update
this site. THANKS!! I also updated the poll question on the Home page. I have decided to keep this poll up for awhile rather than change it every month.
I'm pretty sure I know what most of the results will be and I feel it is important for those who visit this site, who have
not been affected by incest or sexual abuse, to see the unbelievable results. However, if you can think of a topic where
you'd be curious what the results might be, send me an email so I can ask your question for a future poll!!
November 6, 2008 I added some inspirational quotes that have really touched my heart. I hope they encourage and help you as much as they are helping me.
November 2, 2008 I added A Recovery Bill of Rights page. I also joined some new webrings and I'm still tidying up the place since the recent rennovation. November
is already here and the holidays will be upon us before we know it!!
October
31, 2008 I FINALLY had the chance to make some new banners. Please support our site by linking to a banner
and if you have a site dealing with abuse against women or children, email me and I will reciprocate the link. You can
find the new banners on the Support Shattered Souls by Linking to Our Banner page.
October 29, 2008
I gave the entire site a new look! I wish it weren't so bright and I hope the bright design doesn't deter visitors from
such an important and heartbreaking subject matter. However, I didn't like how much wasted space the old site's templates
had. I also like the symbolism of the puzzle pieces...putting each piece of our lives back together until we are
made whole again. Please let me know what you think of the new design and don't be too afraid to tell me it's too much
because I've had those same thoughts. I even tried to change the colors of the new puzzle design to black, white and
gray but that didn't work either. Also, if you find anything wrong or not working on the site, please notify us so it
can be fixed as soon as possible. I'm sure I overlooked something!!
I also wish you and your families a fun and safe HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
October
19, 2008 The long awaited court decision was finally rendered. I updated
My Family's Continuous Journey-A Mother's Story with the decision of our family court judgment. Due to the lack of participation,
I sadly deleted the Discussion Forum. I added a new website, "Shatter the Silence"
to the Abuse and Incest Survivor's Websites page. Be sure and visit this great site because the quicker society is educated about the
devastation caused by sexual abuse and incest, the safer all of our children will be. Don't ever forget...KNOWLEDGE
IS POWER!!
