I glance into the mirror
with great hesitation.
When I perceive the image,
I fill with perturbation.
Wide blue eyes well up with tears;
I cringe at what I see.
For this reflected image causes
anger to encompass me.
I slam my fist into the glass,
with one loud clatter the mirror shatters.
Like pelting rain in a wild storm,
in all directions sharp shards scatter.
Deep red blood quickly drops
down a pale cold wrist.
Darkness starts to envelop me,
as the piercing pain persists.
No longer does the glass reflect
the shame I have perceived,
for now it simply mirrors
the shattered soul which you conceived.
~Anonymous
Sexual abuse and incest are
no longer secrets or something that can only happen to other people. It crosses all socio-economic levels. Sex offenders come
in all shapes and sizes, from any part of society and can be of any sexual preference. Child sexual abuse can take place in the family: by a parent, step-parent, sibling or other relative. It's
almost always by someone your child knows: friend, neighbor, babysitter, teacher, and at times can also be a stranger.
The child who knows and loves the abuser
becomes trapped between affection or loyalty for that person, and the sense that the sexual activities are terribly wrong.
By the age of 18, 1 of every 4 girls and 1 of every 6 boys will be sexually assaulted in some type of way
(Briere, J., Eliot, D.M. Prevalence and Psychological Sequence of Self-Reported Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse
in General Population……: Child Abuse and Neglect, 2003,27 10). The exact incidence of child
sexual abuse is unknown, due to the varying research methods used to collect data and the phenomenon of underreporting. However,
the Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention in Washington DC estimates it to be 300,000+ children per
year. We know that most victims do not report at the time of the crime, and factors such as memory repression, shame,
and fear lead to underreporting among adults participating in surveys. Data from the 2002 National Child Abuse and Neglect
Data System (NCANDS) indicates that approximately 4.6 million children were reported to child protective service agencies
as purported victims of child maltreatment. Of that number, over 88,000 children were documented as sexually abused. Clearly
this is a problem of epic proportions, affecting not only those victimized, but also their immediate and extended communities.
Ultimately, we are all affected directly or indirectly by child sexual abuse.
Welcome to the website, Shattered
Souls. I am not a survivor of direct sexual abuse or incest. However, I am the mother of 3 children who are
survivors of incest, which makes me a secondary victim. I have spent hundreds and hundreds of hours researching/reading
about sexual abuse and incest. I have spoken to numerous counselors and therapists about the destruction
and short/long term effects of sexual abuse and incest. I have spent tens of thousands of dollars and 3.5 years "stuck"
in the family court system trying to keep my children safe from their sister's abuser. And since my children's
sexual abuse was revealed, I have spent every minute of every day comforting my children and watching their emotional
struggles because of the abuse that was inflicted upon them. I have done all of these things because I love my
children and I'm hoping to counteract the psychological damage they have incurred.
I also wanted
to design a safe place for survivors, their parents and their loved ones to come and gather information, discuss
their frustrations, pain and experiences but to also share hope. Sexual abuse and incest are devastating to all survivors
and their families, but we can all come together and share our support and learning experiences in order to help one another
as we all walk the same path....toward healing.
I want to make a difference in my community
and in society, as a whole. Hopefully this site will also educate the public because they need to be made aware
how damaging the effects of sexual abuse and incest are to our children. There are now an estimated 39 million adult
survivors of childhood sexual abuse/assault/incest. (Abel, G., Becker, J., Mittelman , M., Cunningham- Rathner, J., Rouleau,
J., & Murphy, W. (1987). Self reported sex crimes on non-incarcerated paraphiliacs. Journal of Interpersonal Violence,
2, 3-25.) These statistics are horrific and can no longer be tolerated. We all need to do whatever
it takes to educate the public and force society to have a ZERO TOLERANCE toward pedophiles and child molesters. We
can no longer turn our backs and pretend sexual abuse and incest will go away or choose not to talk about it because it's
too "dirty" a topic to discuss. Sexual abuse and incest have become an epidemic and the long term
psychological damage inflicted upon our children, will effect us all as these children grow up and become adults.
We need to support and guide these children and their families in order to help them heal as they mature into adults
and become productive members of society. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make a difference. I hope you
will join me.
"Sometimes
those who look and act like everyone else are the evilest of monsters". ~Mother of a sexually abused child
