Qualities of a great spouse

Relationships are hard. We as women expect a man that will make us feel like a queen. As little girls we dream of our Prince Charming. The Prince that will ride in on the white horse and rescue us, care for us, love us unconditionally and give us everything our hearts desire. We dream of a fairytale wedding, a fairytale life and a castle on the sea.

Then reality knocks at the door. Most likely your Prince Charming is not a prince at all but just a regular man. Your fairytale life is just that, a fairytale. Why? because we want to believe that everything we want and all our happiness is in the hands of our man, but that is simply not the truth.

Men are full of mistakes, stress, emotions and other baggage, just like women. They are not Prince Charming, they are not perfect. There was only one man that has ever walked this earth that was perfect. But, Ladies, don't despair. God created a "perfect" mate for you long ago. Just be patient, pray and wait on the Lord.

Recently, I spoke to several women about what are the top three things you would look for in a spouse. The results were really not that surprising.

The number one most important thing that women look for in a spouse is honesty/trustworthiness. I for one believe this is very important. It is also a number one for me as well, although that was not always the case. More on that at a later time.

Honesty in any situation is important. You need to be able to trust and believe in what the person is telling you and vise versa. If you can't believe anything that comes from their mouths, then there is no trust, i.e.: no relationship. Your partner should also be able to trust you and believe that you are telling them honest words when you speak.

Proverbs is full of passages about truth and honesty. One scripture goes so far as to say "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord." (Proverbs 12:22). If God says it, you know it is true and should be true for our lives as well. We should not, and do not have to put up with dishonesty from a spouse or even a potential spouse. Respect and love demand honesty and trustworthiness.

Christ was honest and trustworthy in every single word he spoke and every single action he did. If a man is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, ( Ephesians 5:25) then we should expect to receive and have honesty and trust.

The second quality is good communication Another great and strong quality. Communication is the key to any relationship, whether it be personal or professional. We all have had that time at work when so and so forgot to let us know about a new project, deadline or project directive. Things start to fall apart really fast when there is little to no communication. It is no different for a romantic relationship or a marriage.

Relationships without communication is like trying to put furniture together without any instructions. It generally doesn't work, someone gets frustrated, mad and then they give up. It is just to much work to try and figure it all out without instructions. Ephesians 4:15 says "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" To me that says speak to each other in love, building each other up and encouraging each other in Christ. Proverbs 15:25 says "The heart of the righteous ponders on how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things". The righteous ponder how to answer, they think on it, but they still answer, they still talk it out. The bible says to pray without ceasing (1Thess. 5:16-18) when you pray, you are in communication with God. We are to communicate with him, without ceasing. Communication with each other is just as important. I can personally attest to what happens to a relationship when communication stops. It is not pretty.

Finally, the last quality was being loving and compassionate. It is not always easy to love your partner, or to be kind to them when they are really, really annoying. Or kind and loving when they throw their laundry in front of the empty laundry hamper, instead of inside of it. Seriously, I know you have better aim than that. Deep breaths, Stacy!!!

Okay, I know I am not the only one who has dealt with items like this, it is frustrating and does not make you feel valued or cherished. Then your feathers get ruffled. Christ expects us to love others as he loved us, even when they apparently can't see the laundry hamper.. let it go Stacy! We are to have compassion and love not only with our words but also with our actions and deeds. The bible is huge on deeds and actions. Proverbs 20:11 says "that by his deeds a man distinguishes himself." Hebrews 10:24 " Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and do good deeds". Be loving and kind to everyone, including animals. Think before you act or speak. It is easier to be loving and compassionate when others are doing the same around you. If you make a mistake and your partner is compassionate about it, chances are you will remember that and strive to be the same. I have a t-shirt that says be kind. My husband ruined it for me by adding "rewind"- "Be kind, rewind" now I can't get that out of my head. But, yes be kind, no need to rewind.

There are literally hundreds of different qualities and each individual person has different values and morals. Overall, we all want to be valued, loved, and have an open and honest line of communication with our spouses. We all should give Christ like love and receive a Christ like love. Let me know what qualities are most important to you.